the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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