Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
