I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
