Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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