so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
