i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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