the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i out mim tonsoeep
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