I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
