Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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