In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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