Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
