is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
