Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
