How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
