i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
