This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
