Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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