Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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