I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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