I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
