Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
