Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
