If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
