No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
