He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
