Pants 0. Shit 1.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
