Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I know her cup size but not her name....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
