Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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