I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
