i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
