so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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