I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
