it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
