sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
