There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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