What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
