Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
