My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
