What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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