He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
