If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
