they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
