North Korea, Best Korea!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
