She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
