Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
