....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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