I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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