I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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