I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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