oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
