How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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